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 Questions from a GED Exam

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Sportsman

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PostSubject: Questions from a GED Exam   Wed Jan 04, 2012 10:37 pm

Found This on another site thought I would share for everyone to enjoy. Laughing


The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) .... and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.



And these people vote and breed..........Lord save us !!!!!!!!!!!

(I don't want to know if you think all these answers were right)
=
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Ruger

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PostSubject: Re: Questions from a GED Exam   Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:40 am

I think this maybe one of the test takers right here.

From the police blotter:

7:50 a.m. — Woodlawn and Paxton avenues, 8-year-old boy waited with backpack at curb, told police he was waiting for the school bus; police told boy there was no school.
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Mr.Ed

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PostSubject: Re: Questions from a GED Exam   Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:55 am

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wacker

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PostSubject: Re: Questions from a GED Exam   Thu Jan 05, 2012 12:43 pm


but lol!

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giddyupgirl

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PostSubject: Re: Questions from a GED Exam   Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:40 pm

Ruger wrote:
I think this maybe one of the test takers right here.

From the police blotter:

7:50 a.m. — Woodlawn and Paxton avenues, 8-year-old boy waited with backpack at curb, told police he was waiting for the school bus; police told boy there was no school.
Poor boy was probably a child of one of those idiots who took the test.
A good family should adopt him! Rolling Eyes
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Dixiecop28

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PostSubject: Re: Questions from a GED Exam   Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:01 pm

you should see some of the affidavits the kids fill out for reports at the police department. every thing they write out is in text mode. hell the one janitor at the high school filled one out when there were people climbing on the roof of the high school. his started out with "I herd people on the roof" lol.
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giddyupgirl

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PostSubject: Re: Questions from a GED Exam   Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:03 pm

I would think he could get fired for that! lol!
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DJ750

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PostSubject: Re: Questions from a GED Exam   Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:49 am

Dixiecop28 wrote:
"I herd people on the roof" lol.

Is that in his job description?
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G Bob

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PostSubject: Re: Questions from a GED Exam   Sat Jan 07, 2012 8:35 am

read any forum on the internet that young people post to and you'll be hard pressed to understand what the hell they are trying to say
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